Infidelity: Why Is It Always An Option?
Who is Esther Perel?
Ester Perel is a Belgian psychotherapist who explores the tension between the need for security (love, belonging and closeness) and the need for freedom (erotic desire, adventure, and distance) in human relationships which includes the desire for infidelity and why men and women continue to cheat. She studies relationships aggressively and runs countless studies on the nervous system to better understand why we conduct ourselves the way we do with our partner.
According to Esther, to whom she owes her values too?
“People often ask me how I became an "expert" on relationships and sexuality.
The truth is, it was entirely unexpected.
My parents Sala Ferlegier and Icek Perel were survivors of the Nazi concentration camps and sole survivors of their respective families. My father had nine siblings, my mother, seven. For four years, my parents stood face to face with death. Trauma was woven into the fabric of my family history (and would inspire my work for years to come). They came out of that experience wanting to charge at life with a vengeance and to make the most of each day. They both felt that they had been granted a unique gift: living life again. My parents didn’t just want to survive, they wanted to revive. They wanted to embrace vibrancy and vitality — in the mystical sense of the word, the erotic. I owe them much of my perspective on life, as well as my belief in the power of will, the search for meaning, and the resilience of the human spirit. To me, there is a world of difference between “not being dead” and “being alive”. I owe this understanding to my parents.”
In this Ted Talk video, Esther Perel breakdowns the psychological factors to rethinking infidelity.